I Die, Without You
by SHATTEREDxREMAINS
Summary: After leaving Edward in Volterra, Bella has moved on with the help of a meddling Volturi member yet her heart still aches for her one and only. Edward stupidly decides to go see Victoria which in turn almost destroys Bella with fear. AU E/B R&R please.
1. Chapter 1

He hadn t been lying when he had told Bella that nothing much more beyond his dignity and pride, at least at the moment. It had been incredibly foolish to go after Victoria alone- Edward hadn t anticipated he hadn t prepared. The only thing he had done was hear a small command, one that had placed Bella in danger, and instantly made his decision. It had been stupid and looking back on it Edward wanted to kick himself. No, he may have played it off to Bella as if there had been no issue- there was no way that he would possible get hurt. It had been a na ve thought but Edward was sure he would be fine- Victoria s original intent had been to kill Bella in front of him- She couldn t do that with him dead already. It had been a foolish thing to invest his hope into and yet he had- and he could have paid a very stupid price for it. Edward had always prided himself slightly on being able to know what people were thinking- what they were thinking about doing before they went and did it. Perhaps it made him a bit arrogant, he knew exactly what someone was thinking at all times and it took a lot of skill to confuse him. Maybe it was because he had been so distracted with the silence of the car allowing him a few moments to think for a moment, but regardless when he had stepped out of that Volvo he hadn t been ready for Victoria s attack. It had taken moments for the redhead to have him flat on his back, teeth at his neck. The reality of the situation had hit him quickly.

It was humiliating. He was mortified.

Edward had been expecting her to just end it there- but no. Since when had fate been that kind? Edward wasn t about to find mercy in for the form of Victoria and he merely glared up at her- her thoughts her ideas cutting him to the core as she did nothing but attempt to abuse him emotionally. The physical aspect would hurt slightly only if the venom made direct contact but her thoughts had been so vivid and detailed that it was almost as if they had already happened. Bella and Jacob being found Victoria snapping the werewolf s neck so quickly Edward was sad to say that he couldn t even find some sort of satisfaction in watching Jacob Black die in Victoria s head there was only pain. Victoria had pictured everything down to the point where it almost looked like reality- or a movie. Bella s tears at Jacob s death, Victoria taunting her about how she wasn t with Edward anymore How instead of killing her in front of him, it would only hurt him more if he knew that he wasn t there to protect her. The pain that hit him after that last thought made the amount beforehand seem insignificant- a mole hill to the new mountain. Who would be able to warn anyone in Forks of what Victoria was up to? Her plan would be a success and he wouldn t be there to help. The thought was so unbearable and it was almost immediate that Edward had realized his mistake. What help would he be to protecting Bella if he got killed prematurely? If in the grand scheme of things his life was a necessary casualty, but it was absolutely positive that Victoria would be gone and thus allowing Bella to live happily, so be it. His life was worthless without her- his only job left to ensure Bella Swan s safety. Nothing more, and certainly nothing less.

And almost as suddenly as it all had happened Victoria had decided that his life was going to be spared. The vampire s thoughts were quick and sudden but something had caused her to back off and he was left to nurse his wounds while she fled. There had been at least one good thing that had come out of the experience and unfortunately it wasn t anything definite. But Edward had managed to ensure Bella s safety for an uncertain amount of time. She was safe for now, but now Edward had to explain things more thoroughly to his family. Things weren t good and Victoria was at least ten times stronger than had been expected. James had been easy. Once he was immersed inside of his game there were no distractions- no help. He had been match for the family of vampires. Victoria was proving to be infinitely more difficult. There had always been that saying that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and now Edward could fully understand that saying. She was going to stop at nothing until she had felt that reserved had been served properly and Edward had to do whatever he could to prevent her from succeeding.

That last thought had him sighing as he sat in the leaves of the forest, not moving just yet as he composed himself. Bella. Darkened eyes widened slightly as he gracefully rose, stepping into the driver s seat of the Vanquish and taking off. No. Victoria had shot off like a bat out of hell; would she honestly think about going to Forks? It would have been the ideal situation for her- Edward had been down and out for the count when she had suddenly left after her meeting of abuse. **"Damn it,"** he growled loudly speeding out of Portland quickly. His cell phone had been pulled out quickly to leave messages to his family of warning (without giving much detail, he didn t want to worry them) before he noticed Bella had been messaging him. Sighing in relief that everything seemed to be alright so far he continued on with the conversation, his main focus on getting back to Forks. It didn t matter if she was going to invite him over or not. Edward was going to be making a stop at the Swan household as soon as he got to Forks. The only difference would be if she invited him Bella would see him. Otherwise he would merely look around, make sure no one was close and then stay in the woods nearby. There was no time to joke about this- he had no idea where Victoria was or what she was up to. Peeking into her mind caused exactly what the vampire had been hoping for- his pain. Her thoughts were vicious and she knew exactly what to think to have him wincing or freeze slightly. Bella wasn t his and he knew that. Edward didn t need Victoria or anyone else to remind him, he was doing that enough for himself already.

Fortunately enough for him the invitation was extended causing him to sigh in relief. She mentioned not knocking or calling beforehand- but Edward s manners refrained from letting him do so anymore. Bella had a boyfriend- someone else who would be the one to come over unannounced- not him. He would knock if his body would allow him to wait. His very core had been aching ever since he had left to go back to Italy those weeks ago. It was hard to believe he had gone this hard without seeing Bella but it was necessary. But this didn t stop the ache, the pull she had on him. Edward wanted nothing more than to rush into her house, pull her into his arms and just hold onto her until he knew she was safe. But he couldn t. His job was now to protect from the outside, the shadows. She had someone else to do that. The comforting touches and whispered words.

The little town was slowly coming into sight and the Vanquish drove down the roads that Edward hadn t ever planned on doing. There would be no hiding his visit this time from Bella- the purr of the engine of the sports car was loud compared to his silent running in the woods. No, she would know and Edward had mixed feelings. Fate would have it so there was no time to dwell on things anymore, the car was already in park in the driveway of the house. Bella s obnoxious broken truck in the driveway. He smirked slightly as he stepped out of the Vanquish to pull out a dent in the piece of crap before making his way to the front door. His knuckles rapped gently on the door to cause enough noise so Bella could hear the knock. Yes, Edward had been aware of Bella s demand that he not walk and just come in- but he couldn t help it. It was common manners and after a moment he slowly opened the door to step into the living room. The vampire s eyes flickered closed as her scent hit him again for the first time in a while, his body shutting out the smell of wet dog. He had seen quite enough in Victoria s fabri- Victoria. His eyes opened with dread as he looked around the room quickly to make sure there was no sign of a struggle? "**Bella?"** He called hesitantly, slowly looking more and more anxious as the seconds ticked by.


	2. Chapter 2

For the past few days Bella's thoughts had been far to mangled to even begin to sort out. The prominent one was Edward's safety, then the second one that stood out was how angry she was with him. Bella.. Well sure she'd been stupid, and said some stupid things but at that time she was doing whatever it took to keep Edward in Forks. As it turns out, it didn't work. Instead he'd went straight to Jacob and told of her threat. That.. Well, that of course lead into a full fledged fight with Jacob that was the farthest thing from pretty. Despite what Bella had told Edward he'd still went ahead and spoke with Jacob. Even if it was for her safety, she was still angry , well... No she would have been had worry not infested her. Edward could be so stubborn - it wasn't even his job to protect her anymore (hell, it was no one's job to protect her) and yet there he went walking into death's shadows. If there was one thing Bella was sick of, it was the fact that everyone was so eager to throw their life away in order to protect hers. She appreciated it, and that was one thing, but it was getting beyond the point of that. No one was listening to her and death was beginning to look good. Even when she'd begged him, the answer wasn't hers - he was still going to go through with it and keep her alive at whatever costs. Edward was risking HIS life here to save her and that alone was infuriating. At this time, she wasn't in death's grip, she was safe in her house, yet whatever it was pulled him away and brought him to the face of danger. Edward was going to live for an eternity, and without Bella being changed, she was going to grow old, and pathetic - she was going to die eventually so if it came sooner than later, so be it! Edward was throwing away an eternity where so much could happen... He could be happy again, he could save lives, he could change people. It was a thought that raped her mind repeatedly, there was no way she was going to let him die for her. It was especially upsetting that he'd been so silent for so long, Bella found herself checking her phone repeatedly each idle moment, and glancing at the computer when ever it was within reach. The uncertainty of it all was killing her and twisting away at her insides. That was another thing that bothered her... Ever since they started talking gain... Well, it was pained, awkward and often senseless. It hurt to see the drastic change into what it had been, to what it was now. The two of them had so much.. But that was long burned.

The knot in Bella's throat swelled as she glared down at the phone, Edward's screen name had finally removed itself from idle and she hoped that was a good sign. Subconsciously she bit down on her lip as her eyes left the phone for a moment only to glance at the clock. Charlie wouldn't be home for a few hours yet and she'd already cleaned the entire house twice over and completely finished the laundry. She'd been trying to occupy herself, take her mind away from what could of been happening to Edward... Take her mind off of the pain she was putting him through day after day. Idle hands ran through her hair as the phone sat on the table in front of her. It would be a lie to say she wasn't afraid of messaging him. She was horrified right now. What if Victoria had killed him and taken his phone? What if he was hurt, incredibly? What if everything had been destroyed? What if he was held against his will? Bella's stomach flipped and her hand clasped over her mouth. Edward could of been dead - the thought hit her too hard. They weren't dating anymore, but that didn't mean she didn't love him... It was hard to picture a world that Edward didn't exist in. While the two hadn't seen each other lately..Well, since he'd gotten back from Italy the second time she still liked knowing he was around and could be there in a second if he so wanted. Bella enjoyed knowing that he'd always be around, always be there. To be in a world where Edward didn't exist, that would be hell. Having known about him.. Then going to a world where he was no more? Bella inhaled deeply trying to get the sick feeling to subside, she was on the verge of throwing up, crying, anything. She couldn't take this anymore - she needed to know what the outcome was - if she'd see him again. Quickly her fingers slipped across the screen of the phone, the feeling still lingered in her throat.

**MYTH MAGNET (6:40:24 PM):** Edward.. Are you okay?  
**thiscoldcomfort (6:40:40 PM):** Yes. How are you?

Those had been the longest sixteen seconds of her life, with each moment that passed another sick thought crossed her mind. By the end of it, when he did finally reply Isabella completely expected Victoria to be on the other end. **"Edward.."** His name slid from her lips in a thankful sigh, There was no way for sure it was him, but the sickness subsided long enough for her to type another reply. Soon the two were having a conversation and it was enough to make the realization that it was in fact him sink in. It especially hit her when Edward continued to try and beat around the bush with her about what had happened. Oh sure, now he didn't want to upset her, yet he had no problem doing it when it involved telling Jacob what was going on - go figure. Bella's ankles twisted behind the legs of the chair as she sat there hunched over her phone trying to pluck the truth from his brain. The realization of losing Edward hadn't even fully sunk in yet, but it was more than enough to make her understand that she couldn't live without him - their friendship needed to be fixed and she needed to push through this phase of awkwardness and be there for him - maybe than he'd listen to her about running off after psycho vampires. Even if it wasn't - she needed to fix this, fix them. Her plot had already set in motion - she wanted to see him, immediately.

**thiscoldcomfort (6:59:40 PM):** Call me selfish, or any other name that you can think of but I can't bring myself to care about casualties at the moment.  
**MYTH MAGNET (7:00:19 PM)**: Call me stubborn, or stupid or any other name you can think of, but i cant bring myself to let anyone else die, at the moment.  
**thiscoldcomfort (7:00:37 PM):** It won't be on you. I won't give you a choice.  
**MYTH MAGNET (7:01:56 PM)**: I'm done talking about this on the computer - I want to see you, the moment you get back.  
**thiscoldcomfort (7:02:07 PM):** If that's what you want.

This was going to be the first time Isabella and Edward had seen each other since he'd gotten back from Italy, and since everything had fallen apart. This.. would be the first time they wouldn't be together. Bella swallowed the lump in her throat as she continued replying - thankful he was talking to her. Some of the information she'd been given.. Well, it wasn't pleasant but it was better than lies, or as Edward had so eloquently put it 'editing the truth.'

Time had slowed. What was actually thirty minutes had strewn out into the span of a few days in her mind. Had Edward always been this slow? Or was it Bella being this anxious? Maybe it all had slowed the moment Edward had told her that the only reason he was there right now - talking to Bella was because Victoria wanted him there. Victoria could of destroyed him and taken Edward from her.. She could had taken away an eternity from him - taken away everything. Reality had taken a morbid turn for the worst and Bella wasn't enjoying it in the slightest. Victoria was stronger than anyone had thought, James was just the McDonald's play toy compared to her. _"Bella?"_ The voice didn't register at first as her thoughts went into hyper speed. Victoria had completely and utterly surpassed their expectations and how they thought this was going to go-Edward? Bella's eyes widened as she lunged herself out of the chair, it hadn't even been a coherent thought - just his voice had registered he was here.. With her ankles wrapped around the base of the chair it wasn't very surprising that it toppled behind her as she flung out nearly tripping and landing on her face. If urgency had ever a time and a place it was now. Bella sped through the door way ( some how managing to bash her side against the frame of the door) and it was then that she'd seen him - yet, the image in front of her hadn't registered aside from the fact that this was Edward. Edward was here. Edward was alive.

Unfortunately... Bella's mind wasn't the best at processing things at the moment and while she remained calm in most situations, now was not one of them. With all of the force she had her arms flung around him as if he'd disappear at any given moment. It reminded her of a novel that she'd read a few years ago, The time travelers wife. It was a bitter sweet love story where the man had absolutely no control over when he left or came yet the one thing he came back to was the girl. That's kind of how the situation seemed to Bella though she wouldn't admit it - it did feel like she'd lost Edward at an uncontrollable time, and he had disappeared for an even longer one - when he'd left her the thoughts infested her brain of where he was, or what he was doing it was silly but it fit. Now she'd just expected him to fall apart in front of her or be there for only a second and she didn't want to lose him.

**"Edward!"** she breathed once more before impact . It.. Well, it was easy to forget how hard he was. Bella's body collided with his at a rapid rate and Bella could feel the air being kicked out of her lungs, her arms coiled around him as she winced, the pain washing over her. It was unbearable for a moment and she thought the tears would come at any minute, if not from happiness of seeing him, but from the pain of ... stupidly throwing herself into him. Bella's face pressed tightly into his chest, after finally seeing him again, she didn't want to ruin it because Edward saw how much that had actually hurt. **"You're okay.."** She whispered as her lips moved against the fabric of his shirt... The...Dirt? That was the first time Edward had ever smelt.. unpleasant and even then it was only the slight trace of something, his normal scent buried in there some how. Bella's tongue moved around in her mouth for a moment trying to identify what had just graced her lips.. It tasted exactly like dirt smelt, and while she'd never been one for mowing down on a mother nature smorgasboard, she knew something wasn't right and that it was in fact dirt. In a matter of days, Bella wasn't going to be pale anymore but instead a sickening tone of yellow and purple and that she knew right now as the pain throbbed, it had some what subsided as she pressed against his cold skin. Yet, the moment Edward pulled away, pain would no longer be the thing on her mind, but instead when she saw the state of his clothes... And the fact he was covered in dirt, Bella was going to freak.


	3. Chapter 3

The wait was almost impossible to bear, the time passing slowly as he stood in the living room of Bella s home desperately waiting for her to show up. Was the house empty? No- he could hear her heartbeat upstairs, smell her. The anxiety however wouldn t leave- not until he saw her. Edward had forgotten how anxious he had always felt being away from the human girl. It was eating at him from the inside out especially now that he stood here in her house not moving. It had taken time but it was slowly becoming more and more embedded in his brain that it was no longer his place to be around her, hovering to make sure that she was okay. At times he was unsure of what the girl wanted, did she even know what she wanted herself? So Edward had to forget and push aside his anxious feelings, his want to go to her and make sure she was okay. It was that same thought now that was controlling Edward, making sure that he stayed exactly where he was standing instead of running upstairs to her to make sure she was okay. Bella was not his anymore. The pain flared up almost enough to overwhelm him, Victoria hadn t been kind in that situation, as his eyes closed he couldn t help the small smile his lips pulled into when he heard, finally, the pats of Bella s feet upstairs. He may have let out a small exasperated sigh when her heard the small impact of something on perhaps part of the house but he knew not to expect different. In fact his lips may have started to pull slightly upward at the sides into a fond smile. It was nice to remember that even if she wasn t with him- she was still her.

And then she was there. The relief that coursed through him was so immediate and satisfying. Even if he wanted nothing more to do than to rush over and hold her against him forever it wasn t something that could be- A small growl left his mouth before he could help it as he tried to block off whatever pain Bella would feel from throwing herself at him like that but it had been too late. Was she absolutely insane? His displeasure at her for doing something like that caused him to be still scowling even with her wrapped around him, her scent engulfing his senses. Not there was a need to worry about his blood lust, not anymore. He had lived through a period where he had believed she was dead. To never see her alive again? That would be the worst pain imaginable. Edward s arms stayed almost limp at his side refusing to do anything at first. His anger was currently causing his temper to want to explode. **"Bella,"** he muttered through gritted teeth, his hands gripping her arms softly as if ready to push her away from him. But he couldn t. Hesitantly he wrapped his arms around her in a small embrace his lips finding the top of her head. It was barely there, hardly a brush of his lips Bella could think it was the air for all he knew. It would probably be one of the last times where he got to do this- or at least that was what Edward was telling himself. He was attempting to promise with this last embrace to both of them that it wouldn t happen again. It couldn t afford to happen again, not when he would always want something that was no longer his to have. Sighing softly he took a step back slowly unwrapping himself to give her a reproachful look. "**You re going to need some kind of pain medication**." No, this was why she needed someone in her life to be with that wasn't him. As much as he hated how that was a reality, it really was best for her. She would be able to rush at someone without having to worry about hurting herself when she attempted to hug him. It didn't matter that Edward didn t want Bella with anyone else but him, that it hurt even to think about. What mattered was her safety and happiness. And if someone else brought that to her he wasn t going to be the one to take it away.

He knew that his appearance was less than perfect, and again Edward found himself wanting to kick himself for his insensitivity. He had spent the last however amount of time that he had spent talking with Bella attempting to tell her that he was perfectly fine. He had been so hell bent on making sure that Bella would know the very minimum of what had happened in the woods with Victoria and yet he had waltzed into her house wearing the very clothes that he had been in when everything had happened. It didn t matter that his anxiety and worry had caused him to not think about running to the house to change his clothes before ending up at the Swan household but Edward was certainly regretting that decision now. Of all the things to do. His clothes were absolutely destroyed. There was dirt, grass stains..Perhaps a few leaves here and there. Not that those were the worse things- it was clearly obvious Victoria had had a bit too much fun throwing him about, the branches of trees ripping holes and even a slash in his shirt."**Why don t you take a seat on the couch or something, I ll go find you some ice and some Motrin."** He needed to fix whatever damage he had just caused as well as get himself in check. Her scent, her touch was driving him insane with the desire to show her his affection. Prove to her that nothing had changed but he couldn t hurt her like that. Sighing he stepped completely away this time motioning towards the before mentioned couch before heading into the kitchen to grab her a glass of water and one of the ibuprofen pills.

Silently he filled the glass with water before he walked at human pace to her bathroom to grab whatever pain reliever he could find before returning to the kitchen to grab the glass. Edward deliberately made the trip longer than was necessary before returning to the living room giving Bella a pointed look as he held out the water and two pills. **"Humor me."** His lips pulled into a small smile, nothing what it used to be, at the familiar situation. Edward didn t care if she was going to deny that the small collision had hurt. He knew fairly well that it had and instead of saying much more and demanding that she take the medicine he simply gave her a pointed look. There were no way to prevent the bruising apart from ice and Edward had checked the fridge- there was nothing. But the pain reliever would at least do what it s title deemed it and that was better than nothing. The silence was killing him slightly but he didn t dare to break it so he could ramble on about something that wasn t important. His darkened eyes searched the room quickly before landing once again on Bella. If she could behave things would be infinitely easier.


End file.
